First Date

30 October. 5:00pm.

She took a deep breath. Her heart was pounding so hard it felt as if it had jumped into her throat, forming a lump there. "Its ok...Calm down..", she thought to herself, willing herself to relax.

To the people on the street, she looked like just any pretty girl. A long flowy top that fitted her just right, hair clipped behind her ears and left to flow in soft cascades down her back, a bag slung over her shoulder. Someone with a keen eye might have noticed that she was looking at the signposts, trying to find her way in a strange place without asking anyone. And without giving away the fact that she was a stranger.

She walked on, observing the quaint little houses that had chickens roaming the verandah, small children playing hide-and-seek, the wine shops at almost every turn and an odd vada-pav seller here and there. A picture of him playing the guitar and headbanging right in the middle of this scene and scaring away the children and the chickens suddenly filled her mind. She smiled inspite of herself, remembering the long chats they had in chatrooms. "No wonder you love it here dude, this place seems to feed your rebelliousness regularly..."

Eventually she reached the place, because the many gullies seemed to lead to just one destination. A familiar flutterring sensation claimed her abdomen again and she felt the heat rise to her face. Finally! She was meeting him at last. So many invitations and coy rejections later. This time she had decided to take the first step. But was'nt it a little too late? She vehemently shook that last thought off. She was'nt about to let negativity get to her mere minutes before her first date. No way! Her first date! Excitement coursed through her veins, inexplicable emotions ran riot as she entered the place.

There were so many people there, it was impossible to spot him. She started walking slowly inorder to avoid stepping on anyone, all the while keeping her eyes peeled for him. But no matter where she looked, she could see no sign of him anywhere. A sense of great abandonment enveloped her, suddenly, completely. A sob broke out from her heart, so heavy with feeling she thought she won't be able to breathe anymore. Tears glazed her vision but she still kept looking. She had to see him, she could'nt go back without seeing him.

A man passing by saw the sobbing girl. "What is it, Miss? Looking for someone?", he asked gently, not a bit surprised by her tears. "Alex...Alexan-der", she answered through her sobs. "Come with me, he's there" the man replied, pointing far right. "Umm..I was just going to put this up", he murmured awkwardly and unnecessarily for the girl had eyes only for Alex. He led her to where Alexander was. And on her first date, she saw his eternal resting place, for he lay buried under a mound of fresh earth in a graveyard. She looked on as the man fixed a granite plaque above his grave. She read the words "In Loving Memory of Alexan..." and as the tears escaped in swift streams down her face, she could read no further.

You know you are losing it when...

Ever wondered why you are doing random weird things just like that? When you become so listless that you do something weird, wonder why you are doing it, then simply continue to do it! Oh, you did'nt come up with any answers for the 'why' question, by the way.

Well pals, it happens when life/work/studies/the dreaded D word (deadlines remember?) gets the better of you...it's time you realise you are very very close to the finishline of 'completely lost it'.

Just some random observations, again made at night. Apparently, late night is a very good time to participate in the 'completely lost it' race. I'm sure what I'm going through is not the first-of-its-kind. You sure would have gone through it too, if you have a very eloquent watchman that is!

1. WHEN YOU KNOW YOUR WATCHMAN'S SLEEP SCHEDULE BY HEART:

Not only do I know exactly when it is that he enters deep slumber (12:30 am- 1:00 am), but I also happen to know the time of his cigarette break (around 2:00 am, after Stud-Boy on noisy bike screams at him to open the gate, soundly abuses his mother and drives away) and his prefferred chioce of fags, judging from the smell (horrible bidis and ocassionally Gudang). I can also mimic (perfectly) the way he yawns. Ocassionally, I mimic him right after he yawns. And I'm pretty sure he can hear me since I live on the first floor. And then I think "Oh my God, I did not just do that!! Yeeks!". But nothing beats the feeling that there's someone alive very close at hand on those horrible nights with a deadline ahead. So what if he's asleep? I know those small insignificant quirky facts about him that will make us BFF, if ever I talked to him or even looked at his face. And that thought gives me the dry heaves......

2. MY COMPUTER TALKS TO ME:

The best thing about my laptop is her enduring nature (with some limits). She puts up with me punching on her belly every evening from 5:00 pm to 2:00 am. If she were a he, we would have been in love, cause I can stare his face continuously and never tire. You do know that looking deeply into your partner's eyes/face (within 0.5 feet, eyes/face/lips/forehead is all the same.) sends impulses to your brain that kickstarts lovey-dovey feelings right? But my love affair with my male laptop was prematurely terminated when I discovered her gender. When she started protesting that I'm cutting into her beauty rest that has to start at 2:00 am sharp I realised I'm dealing with a tough old bird here. If I don't toe the line and do exactly as she says, she spews thinly-veiled threats continuously (something sounding like "I.Will.Crash."). And I am her poor, long-suffering henpecked husband. She says to me, "(microsoft)Office work? It can wait until morning. Now switch off the lights its preventing me from sleeping. Remove your fingers from my belly, you know how that irritates me. And for God's sake, stop staring at my face and go to bed already!! What part of my instructions is too difficult for you to understand?"

Nighttime Observations

I'm going to go on record saying the only kind of oil(or any other kind of fuel used for lighting purposes) I burn is 'midnight'. And I love it. Especially because of the add-on destressers like free-to-browse-whenever-I'm-bored-internet, solitaire, a couple of ebooks..you name it.. Daytime is sooo not me..

So being awake till 3 every night for the past 2 weeks led to some stupid observations(which I'm typing out because I'm bored. Whatever)

1. MOSQUITOES GO TO SCHOOL:

there really is no other explanation for why they spare me the sensation of their proboscis drilling into my flesh...until exactly 2:00 am. At 2:00 am sharp they start chewing on my legs as if they have just been released from some sensory deprivation hell and all their sensors are pointed towards my feet. Attack,drill,feed. Attack,drill,feed.

2. HOW TO ABUSE A DOG:

The scene is: you are exhausted from staring at the screen and decide to go to bed only because you cant seem to get any work done. and you are pissed that your work is not getting done "aaj bhi nahi hua". And you berate yourself about wasting daylight hours, lying wide awake in bed. And after 20 minutes when you finally sleep without knowing you fell asleep....the dogs start barking. Dogs right outside my building converse with the dogs in rahul nagar- long distance, minus the phones. They may well be the political negotiators of the dog world discussing their territories and no-dogs-land because the depth and variety of their howls, yowls, whines and barks seems to convey just that. Cranky SV wakes up with a start and rolls over thinking how do you abuse a dog? Well, make him you brother-in-law. *sllepily whispered threat*" Saale Kutte.."

Stress reaction

very bad start of the week
monday n tuesday have been a complete waste-fest
n rudely woken up from procastination by a very worried call from totally stressed friend with news which equals a nuclear bomb that doesnt kill you but poisons you slowly till the end of your days...yep submission has been pushed up by a day! woo-hoo!
which means...I get to procastinate some more about why I wasted Monday AND tuesday!

So I'm getting to work immediately..
Work List:
1. Play Nayan tarse from DevD on repeat
2. Log onto orkut n fb simultaneosly...checking for messages/scraps just this one last time
3. My gunda name is Kaaliya..[I just love those quizzes on FB..Im addicted]
4. open my dissertation draft which needs editing n minimize it- so that I know the real reason why i swithched on my comp :D
5. forward heartfelt messages to old friends...its at times like these that I miss good old SIES
6. Oh SIES just reminded me of my old crushes...well I once famously said "Any girl who doesnt like Venky has something wrong with their hormones!". Apparently one of the most hilarious lines to be ever spoken in the hallowed corridors of 2nd floor...
7. Im wondering, will updating my daily routine on blog spur me into actually doing work??

Even though this page is ignored by the millions of people on the WWW, I still love the fact that I'm publised somewhere!
Love and Cheers, XOXO SV!
PS: I think I might have mentioned my humor starts working when I'm stressed...