You know you are losing it when...

Ever wondered why you are doing random weird things just like that? When you become so listless that you do something weird, wonder why you are doing it, then simply continue to do it! Oh, you did'nt come up with any answers for the 'why' question, by the way.

Well pals, it happens when life/work/studies/the dreaded D word (deadlines remember?) gets the better of you...it's time you realise you are very very close to the finishline of 'completely lost it'.

Just some random observations, again made at night. Apparently, late night is a very good time to participate in the 'completely lost it' race. I'm sure what I'm going through is not the first-of-its-kind. You sure would have gone through it too, if you have a very eloquent watchman that is!

1. WHEN YOU KNOW YOUR WATCHMAN'S SLEEP SCHEDULE BY HEART:

Not only do I know exactly when it is that he enters deep slumber (12:30 am- 1:00 am), but I also happen to know the time of his cigarette break (around 2:00 am, after Stud-Boy on noisy bike screams at him to open the gate, soundly abuses his mother and drives away) and his prefferred chioce of fags, judging from the smell (horrible bidis and ocassionally Gudang). I can also mimic (perfectly) the way he yawns. Ocassionally, I mimic him right after he yawns. And I'm pretty sure he can hear me since I live on the first floor. And then I think "Oh my God, I did not just do that!! Yeeks!". But nothing beats the feeling that there's someone alive very close at hand on those horrible nights with a deadline ahead. So what if he's asleep? I know those small insignificant quirky facts about him that will make us BFF, if ever I talked to him or even looked at his face. And that thought gives me the dry heaves......

2. MY COMPUTER TALKS TO ME:

The best thing about my laptop is her enduring nature (with some limits). She puts up with me punching on her belly every evening from 5:00 pm to 2:00 am. If she were a he, we would have been in love, cause I can stare his face continuously and never tire. You do know that looking deeply into your partner's eyes/face (within 0.5 feet, eyes/face/lips/forehead is all the same.) sends impulses to your brain that kickstarts lovey-dovey feelings right? But my love affair with my male laptop was prematurely terminated when I discovered her gender. When she started protesting that I'm cutting into her beauty rest that has to start at 2:00 am sharp I realised I'm dealing with a tough old bird here. If I don't toe the line and do exactly as she says, she spews thinly-veiled threats continuously (something sounding like "I.Will.Crash."). And I am her poor, long-suffering henpecked husband. She says to me, "(microsoft)Office work? It can wait until morning. Now switch off the lights its preventing me from sleeping. Remove your fingers from my belly, you know how that irritates me. And for God's sake, stop staring at my face and go to bed already!! What part of my instructions is too difficult for you to understand?"

Nighttime Observations

I'm going to go on record saying the only kind of oil(or any other kind of fuel used for lighting purposes) I burn is 'midnight'. And I love it. Especially because of the add-on destressers like free-to-browse-whenever-I'm-bored-internet, solitaire, a couple of ebooks..you name it.. Daytime is sooo not me..

So being awake till 3 every night for the past 2 weeks led to some stupid observations(which I'm typing out because I'm bored. Whatever)

1. MOSQUITOES GO TO SCHOOL:

there really is no other explanation for why they spare me the sensation of their proboscis drilling into my flesh...until exactly 2:00 am. At 2:00 am sharp they start chewing on my legs as if they have just been released from some sensory deprivation hell and all their sensors are pointed towards my feet. Attack,drill,feed. Attack,drill,feed.

2. HOW TO ABUSE A DOG:

The scene is: you are exhausted from staring at the screen and decide to go to bed only because you cant seem to get any work done. and you are pissed that your work is not getting done "aaj bhi nahi hua". And you berate yourself about wasting daylight hours, lying wide awake in bed. And after 20 minutes when you finally sleep without knowing you fell asleep....the dogs start barking. Dogs right outside my building converse with the dogs in rahul nagar- long distance, minus the phones. They may well be the political negotiators of the dog world discussing their territories and no-dogs-land because the depth and variety of their howls, yowls, whines and barks seems to convey just that. Cranky SV wakes up with a start and rolls over thinking how do you abuse a dog? Well, make him you brother-in-law. *sllepily whispered threat*" Saale Kutte.."